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Row.

The Mileage Gets Longer and L O N G E R

Marathon training isn't easy. It begins with a crazy idea to run a marathon that eventually takes on a life of it's own once that decision is made and the race is chosen. One has to find training plan, and stick to that plan. It takes dedication and requires a lot of hard work which includes payment in the form of blood, sweat, and tears. It is challenging physically, but EXTREMELY challenging mentally ... because it's more than just running. Anyone can say that they could run a marathon, but will they actually make it to the finish?

Although I have been a runner for many years, it is only in the last few years that I have become a "serious" runner. I joke that I am in constant, perpetual training as 2010 is the year that the most mileage has been hit every month. With a half-marathon every month, there is no room for slacking off. Put the mileage in and get the work done.

As I really have NO clue as to how to properly train for a marathon, in February, I began researching the option of getting a coach. It's one thing to download a plan and follow it. It's another to have a real, live coach giving me actual direction. I found a few, sent out a couple emails, and choose one which I thought was a good fit. My requirements were direct and to the point: 1. My training plans have to work around my life and my schedule; 2. I need someone to hold me accountable; 3. I need someone to engage me; and 4. I prefer not to have my training plans given to me all at one time. Easy, right? Apparently, too easy. In June, my coach sent me my training plans for my NWM training up until the day of the marathon! Noooo! I can't have plans like that. First off, I have a somewhat confusing working schedule. And secondly, as I perused the *entire* schedule, it caused me to panic as anxiety and self-doubt set in!!! As if that were not bad enough, I don't hear from my coach again. I saw him online a couple times, and I sent him a message that said, "Say, 'Hi, Row., how is your training?'" So he asks. I shouldn't have to ask. You are my coach ... you should be on me everyday!!!

Ah ... but that's old news already. I have a new coach. I have a better coach who gives me a weekly plan, is accessible, answers my questions, quells my fears, helps squash my self doubt, but best of all, holds me accountable for my workouts. I like my new coach. it's only been a month, and I can see that I have improved tremendously since signing on. However, the mileage is getting longer ... and L O N G E R ...

Duh, Row.!!! You are training for a marathon! It is expected that the mileage will get longer, but thinking about it makes me queasy and puts me in a state of discombobulation as my mind spins in circles trying to wrap my head around the idea. It's crazy because I know that I can run a marathon. At this point there are 6 weeks left until NWM!!! SIX! I have to get the mileage in. I need to get the mileage in. I have NO excuses. If I want to do well, if I want to improve ... and I DO ... then I have to suck it up and do the work.

So I run. I follow the instructions and the plan, and I run. Intervals, tempo, mile repeats, long runs, hills. As the mileage increases, so does my need to find the time to run for hours, as well as my need for good, restful sleep, and intake of extra calories. It took me awhile to figure this out as I often found myself exhausted, or in the middle of a hypoglycemic episode at the *wrong* time!

I have been working hard at getting more sleep in ... but it's a little difficult as I am a true nocturnal being. I work at night, and sleep during the day. Makes for a weird training schedule as I don't have "normal" hours. Some nights when I know that I should be sleeping, I'm not. Instead, I'm messin' around on the computer - Facebook or Twitter are the two places that I troll around and lurk the most. Either that or I'm trying to catch up on housework, or whatever else needs to be done. It's so hard for me to just "turn off" and go to sleep.

Eating has been a challenge as well. I've had a few hypogylcemic episodes because of this lack of intake - once was at work, as I was rendering patient care. I know I freaked that patient out as I turned pale, began sweating profusely, and damned near DFO'd (done fell out)! In my head, I know that I need to eat. I know that I need extra calories. I have to remember to feed myself. When I don't do it correctly, I tend to eat all the "wrong" things. I need to get this right more than any other part of my training. This has been the most difficult to correct. I need to learn about slow burning carbs - but I despise oatmeal's texture. Gah! In the meantime, I eat, albeit it's more like force-feeding myself, and I gag the entire time! I have been told that I am "fueling an athlete's body." Therefore, I should feed it right! I know, I know!

I countdown, and I panic at times as I realize that time is moving so quickly towards the day of the marathon ... when I know that I shouldn't. In my mind, I know that I have time. My Coach reels me back down to reality ... Focus on the now ... Focus on the now ... No countdowns. Just focus on what's happening now ... day by day. Look no further than what's at hand. I will eventually get to "D" day, but for today, I will get the work done, and look no further than what's on my schedule for today.

36 days left ... Time to go get the work done, put the mileage in, 'cause these miles ain't gonna run by themselves!!! See you at the finish line!

Giving Thanks

I am not sure that I could possibly thank everyone or everything that has gotten me to this point in my running endeavors, however, I will do the best that I can to give as much thanks for all that I have received.

I am thankful for my friends who run with me - be it virtually via Twitter or FaceBook, or beside me in real life. My friends cheer me on, motivate me, and pick me up when I've had a bad run or a bad day. They make suggestions, answer my questions, listen to my whining, and remind me that I CAN do this, that I GOT this! For those who run with me in real life - thank you for trusting me and allowing me to run with you. I will always do the best that I can to motivate and inspire you, and I would never leave you behind. I am thankful for the time that we can spend together as we run.

I have to give a special "Thank You" shout out to my running buddy, Mac (a.k.a. The MACHine) Donahoo. We just celebrated our one year Runniversary. In 2010 we have run a race together every month. She is the Laverne to my Shirley. She amuses me. She is "real." She is an awesome runner who also happens to be a good wife, mother, friend, RT. She never lets me get down on myself. We live 1.5 hours apart, and train virtually together, but every month we get together and crank out a Half.

I am thankful for my Coach, SpeedySasquatch. Before I even signed on, he answered my silly questions and gave me various suggestions on running. He welcomed me into his team. He is patient with me as I doubt myself, and reminds me that "it's" inside of me and that he will bring out the Bad Ass Runner that he knows dwells in the depths of my being (why don't I know that its there?). I trust the training as I have watched myself transform and improve in the short amount of time that I have been training under him. He is always encouraging, and never lets me get down on myself. I am a believer. He is worth every cent that I pay him. I am so grateful that Ali (@alitherunner), Linda (@MsV1959), and Shannon (@hendy2) suggested him! He ROCKS!

Much mahalo ("Thank you" in Hawaiian) goes out to my friends from Aliamanu Intermediate, and Radford High School where I first learned about comraderie and team work. Mahalo to my first real coach Thomas Chun - I have fond memories of him following us in his mustard colored Toyota as we ran our long distances.

I am thankful to my Chiropractor, Dr. Brian Crawford, who keeps my body in alignment. I love the way it sounds when my spine clicks into place from C1 all the way down to my sacrum as I am manually adjusted. Most people don't care for manual adjustments and avoid the Chiropractor for that reason. I run to my Chiropractor for this reason!!!

I am thankful to God for blessing me with a healthy body that is able to withstand and endure the "beatings" that I bestow upon it ... I believe that it is amazing to be as "old" as I am, and to be able to still run, jump, punch, lift, push, pull, bend ... to have NO health issues, and I have remained healthy, strong, and fit ... My body is one that has carried and delivered four healthy babies, has run thousands of miles, and at times has felt as if it has been put thru the wringer! It is because I can still do all of these things, but more importantly because I can get up in the mornings that I cannot complain. I will not complain.

And last, but not least as this is the most important, I am thankful for my husband and family. They are my rocks. My hubby allows me to train as I need to. He shoulders the brunt of the household duties that I let slide, nurses me when I'm injured, has learned the art of taping, maps out running routes for me, rides alongside of me on my training runs, buys me gadgets, brings me to all of my races, sometimes also running in the shorter distance race ... all without complaint. My boys have accompanied me on my runs - sometimes on bike, sometimes by skateboard. I have yet to get them to actually run beside me, but I'm slowly getting there. They have endured my crankiness as I lose hours of sleep to get out there and run. They know what I need to get out the door. They tag along with me to races and most times they're all there at the finish line waiting for me. I have the best family ever, and I am truly blessed!!!

I lead a very blessed life, and I am truly thankful.

Dead Last

It's one of the most common fears when signing up for and entering a race: coming in last place. I can now say that I have the honor of holding that position in the last race that I ran.

Date: 03 July 2010. Location: Vallecito, CA. Name of Event: Hernia Hills a.k.a. Half From Hell! Time It Took To Place Last: 2:37:25

I don't even know if I want to write about it, so I willl just write what comes to mind.

I have many goals and aspirations. I set my sights and bars high, probably too high in the opinion of many. However, I expect a lot from myself, and I am the hardest on myself when it comes to punishment and self-berrating. I expect myself to do well, and to produce results ... All. The. Time.

So what happens when my goals aren't reached or fall short? I can honestly say that I do beat myself up internally. It's difficult for me not to. It wasn't even a "bad" time ... just a slow one, and I finished! Com'mon, Row., what the hell? Can't you just be happy with that? That run was difficult to say the least, but you were out there, you did your best, and you finished. End of story. There was no "DNF" by your name ... there was a time!

I know. I know. I know. I get that. I understand it. I should not be ashamed. I should be proud of myself, and I am. I am very proud of myself. To be my age and to still look as good as I do, to be in the shape that I am in, and to be as fit and healthy as I am ... I get it. But ... but ... but ... there's always a "but." There are those who were not out there, didn't even try, laughed at the name of the race. There are those who literally sat on their couch, or laid in bed while YOU were out there, Row. There are those who can only wish that they could attempt to do what you do. There are those who wish that they could walk, or sit up, or let alone move a finger, breathe on their own. What you accomplished was AMAZING, Row. Let it be, Row. Leave it alone. Let it go ...

There should be no tears. There is no crying. You finished with a time ... End. Of. Story.





Originally posted on www.runningcode3.wordpress.com

American River Parkway Half Marathon

I should have posted this long ago. I keep thinking that I've forgotten some of the best parts of this run. This was half #4 in the Adventures of MiniRow and the MACHine!

Held in Sacramento, on a beautiful sunny day on the first day of May, this race was chosen by Mac.

It started out in chaos as the parking directions that I pulled off-line was to a new parking venue. I should have known that there would be a little trouble when I saw that the line for the shuttle to the race start was long, and I was in the very back with no shuttle to be seen. With only one shuttle, every 15 - 20 minutes, I knew that I wouldn't make it to the start on time! Panicking, I called Mac and explained the situation. She said that the race start was being delayed by 10 minutes to wait for those of us who were not there yet. Okay ...

I told Mac to go, to start without me. She, being the good friend and running partner that she is, said that she would wait for me. She reminded me that the race was chip timed, so it did not matter if we started with the gun, or if we were a little late. After I was able to board the shuttle, I was able to find Mac, run to the porta potty for a quick prerace tinkle, snap a quick picture, and we were off!!! We were only off by 10 minutes.

Immediately, I knew that I had over dressed. I knew that the weather would be nice, I just didn't expect it to be *that* nice! After mile 2, I began stripping off my dri-fit shirt. Much better!

The first 6 miles of this run were amazing! I was able to run with Mac, and although we had startedd 10 minutes after the official delayed start, we were able to pass many runners. Our 10K time was sub 60. Perfect, happy runners we were.

I cheezed for all the photographers as is typical Row. style. I lost Mac at mile 7ish as I usually do. My "problem" is that I tend to start off too fast in the beginning, and fade by the middle. I have yet to learn to start off slower, and stay steady. I'll figure it out one day though.

Overall, I enjoyed the course. Despite the parking fiasco in the beginning, it turned out to be a nice race. The people were friendly. There was enough water at the water stops, except for one, but I carry my own water anyway, so it was okay. For those that ran the 5K or for family members that were waiting, there was a great venue at the park with things for the kids to do, food, etc. It was a really nice day. I was able to PR again at 2:14:58. Small improvements! =) I'll take them any way I can get them!

I would definately run this one again next year! Thanks, Mac, for pulling me along.

The Artichoke Half Marathon

This whole thing started because my friend, Mac "The MACHine," and I decided that we wanted to do something "big" this year. We wanted to run more, so we decided that we would run a half marathon a month.

I'm not sure that we were that serious in the beginning. Well, I should say, that I was the one who wasn't sure in the beginning ... I was a little skeptical, and thought, "Okay, I guess I can do that. I mean, it's only 13.1 miles, right? Once a month? Sure, why the hell not?" I had already laid out plans for my 2010 Resolutions to run certains races and runs, anyway, so this plan wouldn't be so bad. So we set out to run certain runs together, and I scrambled to put in vacation bids in the days that I didn't have the weekend off. It was comical in the beginning trying to find a half marathon every month to run, but it has since become serious business as Mac and I are now "serious" runners!

January started us off with the Resolutions Run. February, the Kaiser Permanente Half in San Francisco. March brought us to Sacramento to the Shamrock'n Half Marathon. And now it's April ... hmmm ... What races are there? We search and search, and I finally pick the Artichoke Half Marathon in Pescadero, CA. It sounded cool enough, and we both enjoy artichokes so why not? It was also a plus that the race fee was only $25, and that the race was located in a beautiful area of California!!!

As April approaches us, we wonder if we're going to hear from the race. I log onto the website where I registered and find that when I click on the official website, it's "blank." That's strange. My husband Googles the race and he finds a blog that gives a pretty hilarious account of their experience. My husband then calls Big Al to get directions and to get information on lodging that's close. No answer from Big Al, so my husband leaves him a message, which, by the way, Big Al never returned his call!

All this time, Mac and I are talking and planning. We decide to stay in Half Moon Bay, and we find a decent hotel to stay at. We keep telling each other that it's an adventure. It's been an adventure since the first half we ran together last year without a doubt! We check the weaather and we see that the forecast calls for rain. Okay, we can deal with that ... we've done it before.

We meet in Half Moon Bay on Saturday. We check into the hotel, and we get settled, then decide to go to the beach and then grab dinner. The beach was fun as it was Lincoln's first time to the experience the ocean! The look on his face was priceless! What a cute kid she has there! Dinner was supposed to be at a Crab Shack or some five star rating hole in the wall, but when we arrived there, we decided against it as it looked rather seedy, and headed off down the highway in search of a better atmosphere. We find Mary's and enjoy ourselves as we get to know each other better! =) (By the way, Mac's hubby, Bryan, is a hoot!)

I don't know if we expected race day to be quite so .... hmmm ... what's a good word? I know we checked the weather, and we knew that there was a chance of rain ... but it was like a tsunami when we woke up the that day! But we were already there, and we already paid. If you know Mac and I, we like to get our money's worth ... we were going to run this thing! I started to have my doubts though as we drove to our destination - it was POURING down buckets! Seriously. My hubby kept asking me if we were really going to run. Yes, we were *really* going to run.

When we got there, it was chaos! Big Al's helper, a geriatric geyser, was frantically trying to assist people with their parking. It was quite amusing. People were running everywhere, attempting to find another restroom other than the one stall that was in the Native Sons Hall. Yep, you heard me right ... only ONE bathroom for about 150 runners or so of us. Lucky for me, I was able to spot people across the street using the gas station's bathroom, so I headed that way! That taken care of, Mac and I headed back to the hall to retrieve our race numbers and shirts ... back into the chaos as people were seeking shelter from the tsunami! Too funny! But no medium sized shirts for me ... they ran out! What? Just for that I took more than my alloted one artichoke! Ha! We got our numbers pinned on, took some cheezy pictures, and waited ...

Race time. 10K runners first. Chris lines up while Mac and I are still waiting, and trying to get warmed up. Not happening. We laugh in amusement as Big Al (yes, that's what they call him) yells out instructions that cannot be heard over the wind, rain, and the mass of people yakking away! Pay attention, people or you'll miss your turn-offs! Then we hear, "Go!" Whhhaaat? No gun, just Big Al yelling, "Gooooo!" Hahahahahaha! Mac looks at me in horror! I'm just laughing because we're already here and we're going to run come hell or high water! 10 minutes later it's the Half Marathon's turn. We, too, have instructions belted out to us that we can barely hear, and the next thing you know, Big Al yells, "Gooooo ..." again! And we're off.

It's raining, but I neglected to mention the wind. 30MPH winds! I'm not sure about everyone else, but that wind was doing a great job of blowing me around all over the place. I was struggling to stay upright! The first mile was okay - wet and windy, but okay. Miles 2-5 were a VERY different story! They were ALL UPHILL and into the 30MPH winds! Coupled with the rain, it felt as if I were getting pelted in the face constantly and it STUNG!!! If the course was marked, it wasn't anymore as I'm sure it all got washed and blown away! I worry a little that I didn't pay attention well enought to the instructions that Big Al gave us and that I'd get lost. But I figure I'd just follow others who were running also. I trudged on beside Mac, all the while shaking my head. I hear her tell me that this one is my fault, and that we're even from the Resolutions Run. Then I hear her tell me that, "It's all about the adventure." We pass my hubby who's running the 10K at mile 2. I give him my hat that is doing me absolutely no good, and we say goodbye. I feel bad for him as he's not dressed appropriately wearing a cotton pullover hoodie, but it's too late now ...

At around mile 2.5 I'm thinking that I'm done. I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. It's cold, it's wet, I can't lift my head up, and I'm getting blown all over the road. Nope, I'm done. This will be my first DNF. Then I think, "Well, how am I going to tell Mac?" So I just keep running as I try to come up with something. I see Mac almost get blown over the cliff, and I keep plugging away, trying to think of a good excuse to tell her that I'm going to quit. Mile 3, nothing. I'm tired of the rain pelting me in the face! It's a good thing it's raining 'cause I can't tell if I'm crying or not. Mile 4, still pissed and no good excuse comes to mind. Mile 5, I'm thinking, "Com'mon, I'm soooo done!" By this time we're already soaked, tired, and I'm frustrated as hell. But what's that up ahead?!? Can it be the light at the end of the tunnel? Hahahaha! It's the turn-around!!! Hallejuah, Glory Be! I've never been soooo happy to see anything in all of my life!

Once we turned around, my attitude totally shifted. The rain was now at our backs, as was the wind, AND we were now travelling DOWNHILL!!! Yeee Hawww! =) Just as I wanted to give up, God heard my prayers and turned me around! Finally, I could hold my head up and breathe without feeling as if I were taking in more water than air! Mile 6 was probably the best mile. At around Mile 7, Mac calls Bryan and asks him to pick up her wet garmets! It's around this time that we are directed onto another road ... again goind up hill, through a canyon. Mac quickly calls Bryan and redirects him so he can find us on this road, and we head up. We're having a good time ... talking, and enjoying the scenery. We pass people up and try to encourage them. Bryan finds us, throws us some lines of encouragement and motivation, and takes our cheesy picture! =) And we're off again. Mile 8 ish or maybe mile 9, we get to the end of the canyon road and turn around and head back toward the finish and Big Al. Gone are the thoughts of self-doubt, and of being pissed off. Washed away once the rain was at my back.

The rest of the race is "easy" compared to the beginning. I'm enjoying running beside Mac who, even though I told her to leave me and go, would not. "We're in this together," she reminded me, "And besides, it's like Mile 11.5." Thank God for Mac. She has been a God send in my running life. She has done nothing but encourage me and motivate me to be better.

I tell Mac that I'm turning off Roxanne once she hits 13.1! Thank God I did, because the race course was off by about a half mile. Finish line? There was no finish line in sight, just Big Al standing at the side of the Legion Hall absentmindedly congratulating people! And, how could I forget, there were cars whose drivers paid no mind to the incomming runners as one lady almost backs into me! I see my son laugh as he hears me yell out to the driver, "Heeellooo? What the hell?" But we're done, and that driver is quickly forgotten as we head up the stairs of the Native Sons Hall to get our well deserved medals and more artichokes!



After a taking more cheesy pictures, and a quick change in the Hall's kitchen, we say our goodbyes and both head for home. We're tired, but the feeling of accomplishment was a nice feeling. In retrospect, I really didn't believe that I would finish that race. It was difficult to keep talking to myself to stay in the race, but I also didn't want to let Mac down. I had gotten her into that mess, and I worked hard to see it through.

I know Mac wouldn't want to run that again, but I believe that I may. The course was actually beautiful, but I could hardly enjoy it at the time because I couldn't see much. Maybe I'll suggest to Big Al that they move the date to July as the weather wouldn't be so horrendous and we could actualy enjoy the run.

Shamrock'n Half Marathon 3/14/2010

By looking at the name of this half mary, you already know that it's gonna be a fun race. Or so it sounded fun when my friend and running partner, Mac Donahoo, suggested that we run it. Why not, right? So registration was set and confirmed in January that we would run this half. In fact, it was decided in January that we would run a half every month this year! Yeah, I know, but that's another blog to write about!

I had talked my hubby, Chris, into running the half marathon relay with me. We had found him a willing partner, but she bailed at the last minute. It was a scramble up until the very last minute literally to find him a partner. Alas, one of my twitterverse friends, Linda, known as @MsV1959 on twitter, so graciously stepped in and agreed to be his partner. Whew!

We had picked up our packets and race paraphaneila the Thursday before the run. Good times as we met Mac at Fleet Feet in Sacramento, even though it was only for a few minutes. We were ready!

The race was to be held on Sunday, March 14 at Raley Field in Sac. Easy enough, right? Yeah, right. We had already planned on taking our sons and a couple of their friends to WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) on the Saturday before the race. We still didn't think that it would be an issue. However, we did not factor in the fact that WWE would end so late, and then daylight savings time was on Sunday ... yep, spring forward one hour!!! Ugh. Yet, Chris kept assuring me that we would be okay.

WWE was an interesting event. I had absolutely NO clue what was happening, but it was fun. The boys were entertained and they had a good time. Ironically, Chris' relay partner, Linda, also happened to have tickets to this event, and she sat only 2 rows ahead of us! It was smart of us to bring her race bib, and the relay bracelet to the event to give to her so that in case we didn't see her in the morning, she could at least start!

Unfortunately, we ended up getting home close to midnight. It was a mad dash to get everything I needed organized so that I could get to bed and not have to worry about stuff in the morning. I made sure that I set the clocks ahead, and set the alarm for the "right" time to get up. I asked Chris several times if he wanted me to Google our destination (Raley Field). Each time, he said, "No, we can do it in the morning. We'll be okay."

Sleep came easy for me, but with the usual pre-race anxieties, so I was awakened every couple hours or so. At one point I had a dream that I missed the start, and after that sleep was useless, but I continued to try to get some sort of shut eye. Lucky for me, I remembered that it's not the sleep that you get on the night before the run that counts, it's the sleep the day before the run that's important!

0515 came fast! I know I hit the snooze once, but was up soon afterwards. The plan was to get on the road by 0600 because it was recommended that we show up at 0630 because of traffic and parking delays! At 0600 Chris was having troubles getting directions to Raley Field. What? I said nothing. I couldn't because what good would it do? Instead, I decided to help him, and was able to pull up the address in a few seconds, and get directions immediately after that. Okay, it's 0615 ... let's goooo!

We have to stop, I tell Chris. I needed fuel ... breakfast. McDonald's please. Yes, I said McDonald's. I always get hotcakes and bacon before my races. Except this time, my hotcakes tasted like blah-cakes! I don't think I even barely ate half of them. Oh well. It was enough to fuel me. All this time as we're driving, Linda and Mac are both texting me ... Aaaahhh. I was ashamed to tell them that we were, as usual, perpetually late. We were on the road, and that's all that mattered.

We arrived at Raley Field at around 0715, maybe later. I'm not sure. I just knew that we were running late. I stepped out of the car and I knew that I was already in trouble. You see, I had dressed myself in shorts thinking that the weather would be fab. Mistake!!! I was instantly fffffrozen ... goose bump city on my quads! Gah! I decided it was too late to do anything about it and just suck it up and make the best of it. What else could I do?

Okay, I realize I'm getting winded ... time to move forward to the actual race ...

Mac and I started in Wave 2. Not sure why, or how I got put there, I just know that I was to start there. The first gun went off at 0800, and ours went off promptly at 0810. I was excited, and a little nervous, but overall, I was okay. When the gun went off ... I started Roxanne, my new Garmin, and took off.

I realize that there was a plan that my Coach, Craig Moss, had given me. I tried to follow it, but for some reason or another, my body did not comply with my mind and just took off. I tried to slow it down, but it was not happening, so I just went with it.

Miles 1 thru 8 were uneventful. I remember I was feeling okay, and making good time. I had stayed with Mac until the 10k mark as I usually do, then I start to slow, while she keeps on going. Linda saw me at the halfway mark after she had already finished her leg of the relay. She inspired me to go on. I took my Gu at miles 4 and 8, but as I did so, I could feel my body tell me that it wasn't ready for it. But I was advised by my coach to do so, so I did as I was told.

My goal for this race was to not stop. I had a time goal of 2:10 to 2:15 which were reasonable time goals. I had been running well and without incident so I felt confident. I can't say that I ever hit "The Wall." Mile nine-ish was difficult, but I kept on. I saw Chris at this point and tried to yell at him, but he didn't hear me. Mac was ahead of me, and I thought I heard her yell at me at around mile 10. I asked her later on, and she said that she did which was cool.

At mile 11, it was as if I had a little burst of energy. At mile 12, I could feel the wheels loosen as if they wanted to fall off! It took all I had to hold it together and just will myself to keep on going. I did great talking to myself. I didn't let the voices in my head take over and get the best of me. I made it to mile 13, and I could see the finish and gave it all that I had and kicked it in to the end.

Immediately after stopping, I felt ill. Really, really sick. Physically gut twisting, nasueated SICK. I'd never felt like this before ... EVER! Then it hit me ... too much GU! I was advised to take it at miles 4 and 8 which I did. I should've stuck with my Gu Chomps. Too much Gu makes for a very twisted gut for Row. So ... lesson learned. Follow your gut. My gut kept telling me, "No, Row. It's not time for Gu." In retrospect, I believe that McDonald's may have played a small part in my GI issues. It took the better part of my whole day to get better.


Another no-no ... Not dressing correctly or underestimating the weather. I ran "COLD!" My muscles never warmed up during this run. I had goose bumps the entire run which I knew was bad. Not a good thing! So ... I will bring extra clothing to either dress up or undress! =)

Overall, I loved the course. It was a really nice day, and it was a lot of fun to run. My overall time was a PR for me at 2:18:00. 4 minutes off my previous half. Can't wait to run it again next year. Thanks, Mac, for the invite!

Kaiser Permanante Half Marathon

I realize that I am late posting this race recap, but not to worry, I remember it like it happened just yesterday!

Ah, the Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon. San Francisco, California. Sunday, February 7th - Superbowl Sunday!!! (I'm not a huge football fan, so I didn't feel as if I were going to miss out on much.) As an employee of KP, I felt slightly obligated to run this half. I would have much rather have ran in sunny So. Cal at the Surf City Marathon!

The family and I headed out to San Fran on Saturday afternoon. We had debated on whether or not to go up the night before, or to leave early in the morning. It was decided that we would leave Saturday afternoon after I had gotten some sleep after my 12 hour shift worked. Sounded like a good plan. Hotel reservations were made, arrangements were made to have our daughter taken care of, and our bags were packed. Chris, the boys and I left at around four in the afternoon. It was slightly overcast, but rainbows were abound. I believe that this was a sign of good things to come!
The sun was setting, and Nathan remarked that when he thinks of God, he believe that this is where he believed that God would live.

After much deliberation, we settled on having dinner at Strings in Tracy. Carbo-loading on pasta! It was a nice family dinner, despite the endless chatter of the boy behind us!

We arrived at our hotel before seven, checked in and settled in for the night. As I was still tired, I almost immediately went to sleep. So boring, I know, but what can I say? I had no race jitters or anxiety, I just went to sleep.

The morning was a different story! I had awakened without incident and readied myself before I woke up the troops. It was already nearing 0630 as we headed out the door. I know it seems early when you think that the race starts at 0800, but when you don't really know your way around SF, it's a bit of a problem. We were low on gas, and we were hungry. My husband thought that we could easily find a gas station and a McDonalds along the way ... NOT! We drove around for awhile, but finally decided that we should bail on plan as his frustration level waned and the time got closer to 0730uckily for me, I had brought a preworkout shake and took that in for my "breakfast." Unfortunately, I only had enough for myself, and I was running the Half while they were "only" running the 5K. I had to put myself first in this case. Sorry guys!

By this time, my friend and virtual running partner, Machelle "Mac" Donahoo, had already parked and was waiting for us to arrive. She had called several times to find out where the heck we were?!? We saw her as we went to park and she waited for us so that we could all board the shuttle to the start together.

When we got to the start, we made a pit-stop to the porta-potties (gags) then my friend Suzanne found us. It was late, and I felt bad that I could not catch up with my other friends to say hi and wish them luck, but it was just not meant to be. There were so many people there! I bid my hubby and boys good luck and we headed off to the start line.

At 0800 the gun went off. I turned my iPod on, as did my partners, and we were off! It took us seven minutes to get to the official starting line. My nerves started to act up, and I had to remind myself that it was just running. That happens to me at every race in the beginning. After a couple of miles, I settled in and just ran. I stayed with Mac for a good six miles until I thought that she would make a bathroom break. She *always* takes a potty break, so I took one ... but she did NOT! I had lost Suzanne shortly after we started running, so I really had no idea where she was. I was alone for the next half of the run.

What goes through my mind while I'm running a race is simple. I always think that I'm crazy to be doing this, that I should know *better*, and that this is just too much. One reason why I run with an iPod is to drown out the voices in my head. The voices that attempt to drag me down. Hello? I just want to run. This time, I told the voices to just shut up. I remember last year I had to stop and walk for a minute. This year, I told myself that I would not walk. I would not give in to the temptation to walk. I would not believe that I was tired. Instead I tried to enjoy the views of the beach as I got to the Great Highway. I just remember thinking that it was torture to see the other runners running to the finish in the other direction! But I kept running ... all the way to the very end! My time 2:20 ... Roughly 15 minutes faster than my time from the previous year, and 7 minutes faster than my fastest half! A PR!!! I was proud of myself that day. I'm proud of myself everyday, but I was happy that I didn't walk, and that I was able to PR!

My Most Memorable Run

Running has been such a BIG part of my life since I was a youngster. When I was in high school, I ran cross country and track, and I had an awesome coach named Mr. Chun. I don't believe that he ever ran a day in his life, but he coached my teammates and I well!

My most memorable run ever, was during the summer before the start of my junior year! After much planning, fund raising, and begging our parents, Mr. Chun was able to plan an elaborate week for our cross country team on the island of Molokai, Hawaii!!!

I lived on the island of Oahu, so it was a short plane flight over to Molokai. First class flight on my first commuter plane! Wow! It took several planes to get our team to Molokai, and it was fun to see my teammates in the air as I would see them driving on the freeway! Somehow, Mr. Chun was able to get us five star accomodations at Molokai High School's gymnasium! With Mr. Chun as the chapparone for the boys team, and his wife as the chapparone for the girls team, we set up our sleeping bags on the gym floor and set up camp! Too much fun!!!

Our days were packed with various workouts - morning runs, afternoon runs, weight training, core training, callestenics, stretching. It wasn't all about running and working out though. He had planned hikes, beach trips, sight seeing, mule rides, and barbecues which were integrated with a workout in mind!!! Beach trip? Sure, let's make it a beach run! Hike? Uh huh, let's run up hills and do a trail run! Mule ride to the bottom of the mountain, but you gotta run back up it! It never seemed like "working" out to me though. I was with my best friends, and I was doing what I loved - what more could I ask for?

The island of Molokai, if you have never been there, is the 5th largest island of Hawaii. It's beautiful. When I went many moons ago, it was not as populated or commercialized as it is now, I'm sure. The beaches were empty. It was a pineapple plantation, and Molokai was home to the last Leper Colony.

Our last run, on the afternoon before we left, was a scheduled relay run thru the island! We had been divided into teams - mixed boys and girls. It was an amazing run for me! It was so long ago, but I distinctly remember running alongside one of my best friends, Frank, on the empty highway. I remember that Frank talked me through that long stretch. He could have easily left me behind, but our team was not like that. We actually cared about one another, and we had a Semper Fi mentality. When I wavered, he talked me through it, encouraging me. He reminded me to keep my head up, and to look at my surroundings. My surroundings were beautiful: lush greenery, clear, blue skies, perfect Hawaii weather, the sound of waves crashing, and the scent of pineapples! As we ran, I relaxed into the run, and just ran as my teammates cheered us on. That's the run that is the most memorable for me.

It's been a LONG time, but to this day, when I smell pineapples, I think of that run. I think of Molokai, and of my friends. I think of how wonderful it would be if I could go back and visit. I do go back and visit though, albeit in my dreams, or when I'm running and I waver. I bring my mind back to that time and place, and I once again hear Frank talking to me, and my teammates encouraging me on, reminding me that I CAN do it ...

Keepin' Up With Electronic Updating/Posting/Blogging

I'm not a very good blogger. I just don't see how I can keep up in this electronic world. I watch people on Twitter and FaceBook and I see how they're posting constantly ... Would that mean that they're on ALL the time? How can that be? I, too, love to follow my friends, but to sit in front of the computer or to have my iPhone in hand all the time ... ??? I'm not saying that that's all that they do, I just feel as if I'm not able to keep the pace. I'm sure that most are multi-task as they tweet, update status posts, or write their blogs. But there's also updating DailyMile, NikeRunning .... aaaaaaahhhh!!

I believe that much of my problem is that I'm still the one that loves writing in a journal. It's tangible. I like seeing my handwriting on paper. I like being able to pick it up and turning a few pages to see what I had written on a certain day versus having to scroll thru various screens. Maybe it's the brightness of the screen making my eyes get all goofy that prevents me from staring at the screen all day long. Mostly, I just don't believe that what I have to say is of interest to anyone except me. I'm one of those individuals who do more observing and watching, rather than interacting. I like to listen more than I speak.

I love it though. I love to read what people are doing. I love reading their thoughts that they blog about. It's like an sneak peak into a little part of their world. I love my Twiends. I've met some really great people who inspire and motivate me. I've also read some read blogs that provide insight and enlighten me!

I'm almost there ... I post my tweets, follow my friends, I make comments, and blog here and there. I'm much more advanced than I ever thought I'd be, even impressing my son at times!

Is It Just Me???

I know that I'm NOT perfect. I am soooooo FAR from perfection, but I put forth the effort when I do something.

It's so hard for me to walk into the gym and see people working half-assed! You've seen them, too, I know you have. They're on the treadmill with the incline jacked all the way up, hanging on and talking to their girlfriend on the next treadmill. They're on the phone, talking a little too loudly, trying to show that they're important. They're at the back of the class, doing the motions but not at 100%. Or they're in the weight room, "swinging" the weights around ... Mind you, I understand if they're sick or not up to par, but I've seen people who are sick or not up to par, too, and they're giving it the best that they have, or they rest until they are able to get back into their groove.

When I posted this as my FaceBook status, I received many comments to the effect that, "Not everyone can be you, Row." Or, "Not everyone has the physical abilities that you do, Row." Or, "I'm glad I didn't go because you'd just laugh at me." Yada, yada, yada ... blah, blah, blah!

My point, and I DO have one, is that people pay to go to the gym, or have a trainer, or to go workout and they don't put forth the effort. They lag, or they talk, don't do the moves right, or don't use the equipment correctly ... It's soooooo NOT a matter of physical abilities because lots of people just starting out try hard, ask questions, and workout to 100% of their ability!

I can hear many of you asking why I don't help these individuals. I have attempted to, trust me. I have offered "friendly" advice. I have tried to correct poor form. I have even cited safety concerns. For the most part, I do offer my advice as "constructive criticism." It's NOT my intent to laugh at anyone, or to make them feel small. Seriously, I am happy to see people working out. But remember, I am an ER Nurse and I have taken care of my fair share of individuals who have dropped weights on themselves, "fallen" off the treadmill, pulled muscles because of improper mechanics, etc. I talk to individuals who want "quick-fixes," and get upset because I cannot offer them any other advice other than hard work, and better eating habits. There are NO shortcuts, or at least I have not found any.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I am too hypercritical of others. I don't believe that I am though. I've been dubbed "hardcore," and other crazy adjectives to that effect. I believe in getting your money's worth, putting your best foot forward, doing your best, giving it your all in order to achieve the BEST results possible. Anything less = FAIL!!!

I Run Because ... I Am A Runner

People always ask me, "How long have you been running?" Truth be told, I'm sure that I hit the ground running once I was released from the womb of my mother and have not stopped since! My mother frequently teased (more like complained) that I was a child who never stopped. She told her friends that I was such a mobile child! Walking at 9 months old, and constantly on the move after that.

Running and being an athlete was something that has come so naturally to me. I taught myself how to ride a bicycle. Yep, I was fortunate to have a neighbor named Faith who had a two wheeled bike that I coveted and an unlocked garage ... don't worry, I didn't steal the bike. Faith said that I could borrow her bike anytime, I just had to put it back. So I did. I taught myself how to ride that bicycle in less than an hour, and I know that I rode her bicycle more than she ever did. The only thing that I regret about teaching myself how to ride that bicycle is how I remember the look on my father's face when he saw me riding a two-wheeler ... I believe that he wanted to be the one to teach me how to ride that bike! But me being as tenacious and stubborn as I am, I couldn't wait for him, I was going to do it myself. I'm still like that to this day ... tenacious, stubborn, strong-willed, self-motivated, self-directed ...

Organized running came to me in the fourth grade. Junior Olympics! I'll never forget how I had to beat all the girls in my class, then all the other girls in the fourth grade to make it to run in the Junior Olympics. I really had no clue what was happening, I just remember that I was FAST and that I got to run on a really cool track at Burroughs High School! And so my running career officially began. I ran track in middle school at Aliamanu Intermediate School, then came high school cross country and track at Radford High School, both in Hawaii.

After high school, I ran for recreational and fitness purposes only, and it began to taper off to the point where I would only run sporadically. You could say that I took at 10 year break. It was only after one of my trainers, Pete, talked me into running the Wharf-to-Wharf in Santa Cruz that the interest sparked again. Mind you, I have never really quit working out, running was just not part of my workouts. So when I seriously returned to running it was slightly painful ... Thank God for muscle memory. My muscles remembered how much it loved running!

Today, I still run for my own personal sense of satisfaction. I am in no means fast, but I can endure. I have found that I love my Nike+ iPod, Fleet Feet saved my feet, dri-fit feels good, and that half-marathons are a perfect running distance. I laugh at myself as I talk to myself during the first two miles of any of my runs - those two miles are the most difficult for me. I have learned that it takes sheer guts to run a full marathon, and that it sucks big time when you hit "the wall!" I have learned that sunblock and hats are my new best friends. I love running with my friends - physically and virtually.

I know that I won't be breaking any records, therefore my goals are different, and simple. With each organized race that I run, my goal is to better my times. My goal is to get faster. I run to stay in shape, to work off frustration, to burn calories that I should not have eaten, and to burn of excess energy. I run because I actually like the runner's high. I run because I like to know that my body CAN do it as "old" as it is, and much better than most of the young'uns out there! I know that all athletes run ... it's a great adjunct to all of my workouts! I run because I am Row., and I am strong, and crazy, and I just love running. I believe whole-heartedly that anyone can do it. It's not about how fast you are ... it's that you're up and out there doing it! If you see me on the road ... don't be afraid to honk and Holla!, then get outta your car and come with me!

Who's Ready For Fitness in 2010? I Am!!! I Am!!!

It's here ... 2010 ... Time to bust out the calendar and plan out my fitness goals and log my events down. For those of you who are a willing participant, I am a good Captain, and I will lead you in the right direction. It is my intent for 2010 to be the fittest that I have ever been. For this reason, I will post the events that I am planning to participate in.

Are you ready to go? Pull your calendar's out, grab a pen, and let's get started ...

January 1st, Friday: the PERFECT day to begin. It's the Resolutions Run in Auburn. 5k, 10k or 10 miles. I am planning to run the 10 mile run. NO excuses. I am working on New Years Eve - all night! Yep, from 7pm to 7am. The run starts at 1pm so I'll have time to catch a quick power nap while my hubby drives us up there and right before check in. http://www.active.com/running/auburn-ca/resolution-run-2010

January 2nd, Saturday: TBF Racing's New Year's Duathalon! Run 2miles, Bike 7miles, Run 2miles ... it's free!!! Another no excuses day! TBF is graciously offering their services to teach us the Du! http://www.tbfracing.com/events/newyeardu.html

February 7th, Sunday: Kaiser Permanente's Annual Half Marathon and 5k, San Francisco, CA. I'll be running the Half Marathon. http://xnet.kp.org/sanfrancisco/index.html

March 13, Saturday: Stockton Shamrock Run. No web information or sign-ups posted yet, but will be soon on http://onyourmarkevents.com/

March 14, Sunday: Shamrock'n Half Marathon, Sacramento, CA. Okay ... I got talked into this one, but it makes sense because my running buddy, Mac Donahoo, and I have set a goal to become Half-Fanatics!!! http://www.shamrocknhalf.com/

April 24th, Saturday: It's the Annual Kaiser Permanente Spear-It Run. Easy and FUN in Downtown Stockton, Cali. 1mile, 5k, 5mile. Last year I ran the 5mile, and this year I'll run the same! Come to Stockton, get your run on, then have you some asparagus! No web information or sign-ups yet, but will be posted soon on http://onyourmarkevents.com/

April 25, Sunday: Okay, this is new. My friend Mac Donahoo wants me to consider running in Big Sur. 21 miles. Something to consider ... Big Sur is beautiful. It's funny because I was thinking that I wanted to run the half marathon that they have, but in November. This event also has a 9 miler, 10 miler, and a kids 5K. http://www.bsim.org/The_Twenty_Fifth_Presentation.htm

May, 2010 ... Still researching and searching for events. I'm thinking I'll just rest this month out! LOL!

May 01, 2010 ... Sacramento's American River Parkway Half. Half marathon that benefits the American River Parkway ... such a nice run!

June 6, Sunday: Muddy Buddy, San Jose! Oh boy! This is a definite must. This will be my 4th Muddy Buddy and it's a BLAST! A buddy duathalon ... approximate distance is 10K ... run, bike, run! I'm passionate about this event, and suggest it to everyone that I know. Last year we had a great group of people who got together to "Du" it ... I'm expecting the same turn-out this year! Check it out on http://www.muddybuddy.com/

July 26, Sunday: Wharf-to-Wharf, Santa Cruz, California! This is a nice, fun 10k run! Sign ups for this race begin in April, and it sells out fast. Check out the website at http://www.wharftowharf.com/

August, 2010 ... no info yet this early in the game, but I'm hoping that the Modesto Midnight Half-Marathon is a "go" again this year! Last year was the first annual one, and I enjoyed running in the dark, however, not many people did. There are a few kinks to workout so as soon as there is information out on it, I'll be sure and let everyone know. For now, just keep watching the blog, as I intend to update it regularly!

September, 2010 ... still searching for events!

September 25, 2010 ... WolfPack Events - Fall Showdown, San Pablo. Half Marathon in Concord, CA.

October 17, Sunday ... This is the day of the Annual Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco. Sign-ups usually start in March, BUT ... it's a lottery so, unfortunately, it is NOT a guarantee that you will get in once you sign up. This will be my third marathon should I "win" the lottery again! I have always dedicated this run to my Dad, as this marathon benefits the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. It is during this time that I will seek donations/contributions and post a website to my donation link. I'll keep you posted when sign-ups begin so we can all enter the lottery together!
*Update* I'm in ... I won the lottery again. I'll be running NWM 2010!!!


October 23, Saturday: I'm anticipating that this will be the day of the Annual Nike Human Race. It's a 10k run anywhere ... you just have to have Nike+! Last year, I was fortuantely to meet Sarah Kay Hoffman, Nike Human Race Ambassador. We ran the 10K at Fleet Feet of Stockton. Good times. As it gets closer to the event, I'll remind everyone, but information can be found on http://nikerunning.nike.com/

October 31, Sunday: Down and Dirty Mud Run, Sacramento, CA. First annual Down and Dirty Mud Run!!! A 10 K with obstacles. Presented by the same promoters of the Muddy Buddy, it is similar, however no biking.


November 13, Saturday: First Annual Veteran's Half and Fun 5k. I signed up for this event last year, however it was cancelled at the last minute! =( I'm hoping that this year it will not be cancelled and I'll be able to get the day off again this year! I'll request the night off again and see what happens. I'll sign up for the Half-Marathon when it comes up! This event was not scheduled, therefore, it's a NO Go!!! But ...

November 14, Sunday:First Annual Stockton Half Marathon. I'm in for this one. Stockton's first half marathon?!?! I'm all about staying close to home.

November 25, Thursday: Stockton's Annual Run Against Hunger. It's a 5k and 10k run. Last year I ran the 10k! Too much fun! Come on out, run, then get your grub on! You'll be able to eat your Thanksgiving dinner without guilt!

December 05 2010: California International Relay Challenge. Signed up with my running buddy, Mac Donahoo. We are team "MiniRow and The MACHine." Excited! We will each be running a half marathon. Mac will start, and I will pick up at leg 3 ... =)

So many things that I desire to do ... so little time!!! I have a goal to be a Half-Fanatic in 2010! That means that I need to up my game and find more events closer together.

I am open to various events. That means ... if you hear of any events that you think I'd enjoy, let me know and I'll go with you! My goal is to run at least 4 half marathons this year. I like 10ks because they're fast and easy. I'm always looking for places to go, and even "Staycations." It's crazy to say that my family vacations are usually centered around where the events are, but it's fun, and I am thankful that I have an understanding family that doesn't mind being "dragged" from place to place. Usually I try to get them involved also and participate, and sometimes (only sometimes) I'm successful.

I am a member of InShape Health Clubs and American Martial Arts Academy both in Stockton, California. I also have a pass to Bikram Yoga Stockton. I run, bike, kickbox. I have a black belt in Krav Maga, and I practice hot yoga! I love resistance training. I enjoy working out with others and am open to trying new things. You may very well see me running or biking out and about in Stockton - if you do, don't hesitate to come out and join me. (If you see me and I don't respond to your honking and/or yelling ... don't get upset if I don't acknowledge you ... it's because I'm running with my iPod on at full blast!) I am an exercise DVD and equipment hoard ... hahaha! P90X? Got it! Insanity? Yep! Elliptical? Uh-huh. Treadmill, weights, resistance bands, punching bags, exercise balls, medicine balls, jump ropes, pull-up bar ... I've got those, too! I carry a gym bag packed with workout clothing and running shoes in my trunk , as well as equipment! See, NO EXCUSES! Absolutely NONE!

Let's make 2010 the best year ever!! We can motivate, encourage, help, and hold each other accountable for staying on track as we get and STAY in shape TOGETHER! Let's goooo ... it'll be so much FFFFUUUNNN!!!

Follow me on http://www.nikerunning.com/ (user name: MiniRowRow), http://www.twitter.com/MiniRowRow , and http://www.facebook.com/MiniRowRow ! You can also find some of my crazy (easy) runs mapped out on http://www.mapmyrun.com/.

I Work Out So That I Can Eat Whatever I Want - Fact or Fiction?!

I'm not going to lie ... I am like every other woman who wishes that there was a Magic Pill that would keep the body in shape without working out, to allow me to eat whatever I wanted without gaining an ounce, to keep the wrinkles and gray hair at bay, and to keep me healthy. Fountain of youth? I know that that doesn't exist so I am not even going to start dreaming about it! I'm just looking for the lazy way ... but the lazy way doens't exist either!

Thankfully though, I am one of those women who has been blessed with athletic abilities. I believe that once I was released from my mother's womb, I hit the ground running. I started walking at 9 months old. I ran my first track meet in the 4th grade. I dabbled in gymnastics, ran high school varsity track and cross country. I have a black belt in Krav Maga. I have participated in and have taught kickboxing classes. I have run 10Ks, half-marathons, and even a couple marathons. I am proud to say that I AM a very accomplished athlete.

My difficulties lie in that 1) I'm getting a little older, and 2) I like to eat - not a lot, but I do get caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar more times than it should be in there! The getting older part, I can't do anything about. But that part is only numbers. I don't feel the number that I am, and, if truth be told, I am better than those with numbers smaller than or less than mine. It's just hard to believe that I am over 40! I laugh when I think about that ... when did that happen?!? The eating part, I can change. I cannot change that which I do not acknowledge ... therefore, let me acknowledge my weakness now.

My name is Row., and I am HUMAN.

I like to eat. Not junk food, per se, but snacking on those which are not that great for an (slowly) aging body. I love bread and pasta. I love pastries - namely Apple Danishes from Toot Sweets, and Cinnamon Sour Cream or Blueberry Muffins. I DON'T eat them everyday, but I lie to myself when I do eat them. I try to tell myself that eating one will not harm me, and it won't, but I have to work EXTRA hard to work it off, and most times I don't do the extra work that is necessary. I forget the mantra, "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips." I understand that I am the only one in control of what goes into my mouth. I cannot lay blame on anyone because no one is forcing me to eat the things that I do. However ... there are the occasional sabateurs .... Ha! I won't blame them either!

It's a joke to tell yourself that you workout so that you can eat whatever you want. It's a waste to workout if all you're going to do is eat crap. If you're not seeing the changes that you want, or if you're seeing changes that you don't want, most likely it's because your nutrition sucks! Bottom line is, if you eat crap and workout, you're still going to look like crap! Nutrition is a big part of fitness. We need to remember to eat to live versus living to eat. Fitness alone will NOT solve my "problems."

So here to day ... I acknowledge my weakness and my desire to change this behavior. When I choose to eat badly, I will make up for it in the gym by working out harder or longer. I intend to make better choices because most times it's just NOT worth the extra effort that must be put out to work it off! Seriously ... to "have to" run 2 miles to work off one doughnut ... Yeah, no!!! I'd rather do the best that I can to "keep it clean" and out of my mouth! I CAN do it, I know that I CAN!!!

2010 New Year, New Intentions

It's difficult to believe that 2009 is about to end when it seems as if it began just yesterday. Time no longer moves slowly for me. If I am to be honest, it almost feels as if it is moving at warp speed. My children are no longer "small," my age has moved into it's first anniversary of another decade, my hair grays faster despite the coloring of it every two months or so, etc., etc. I don't feel "old." I have learned to "live my life, and forget your age," as Norman Vincent Peale encourages.

In the upcoming 2010, my oldest child will turn 20! TWENTY!!! Holy Cow, Batman!!! That one's somewhat hard to swallow. I have another child who will start high school in the fall. Almost all of them are taller than I am, only the youngest one has yet to pass me up. Yeah, I know I'm not that tall to begin with ... but so what?

I have decided to pen, if you will, my intentions for 2010 during the month of December to get a healthy jump start. I have always been a big believer in the power of the written word, and I have always been one to write down my goals, aspirations, and resolutions, or in the last few years, my intentions.

What's the difference between a resolution and an intention? A resolution can be defined as the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc. I am not a fan of resolutions. An intention, on the other hand, is defined as an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. I like intention better. An intent is more the state of a person's mind that directs his or her actions toward a specific object. I believe that this makes intentions more achievable and attainable ... You can do ANYTHING if you set your mind to it!

For many, they pen their resolutions with the best of intentions. They start off with a bang, but never give it time to develop and change or grow. It takes approximately three weeks to develop new habits ... 21 days. If you can stick with something for 21 days, you can almost gurantee your success in that change of behavior. I intend to do the things I say I am going to do, and I intend to start NOW so that by the time January 1st rolls around, I will be more than ready to tackle 2010! Time for new outlooks and new beginnings, as I have a deep desire to change for the BETTER!

So, without further hesitation, here are "Row.'s Intentions for 2010"

I intend to be a better parent. I know that my children are older, but it can never be too late to desire to be better for your children. I write this down every year, and I believe that I do get better, but that there is always room for improvement. Someone once wrote, "If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I'd do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously... play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging." I like that. I love my children more than anything. They are definately the BEST parts of me, my biggest and most cherished accomplishments. I may complain about them from time to time, but I would NEVER trade them for any other. For this, they deserve better of me.

I intend to be a better wife. You would think that after how ever many years that Chris and I have been together and married, that this would be a given. Marriage is HARD work, but I am truly thankful to have been blessed with the husband and partner that I have. He is definately the better half of the two of us. He loves me unconditionally, and tolerates my lability because God knows how labile I am. I sometimes believe that he deserves better, but he continually tells me that I am the best. For him, I will strive to be the best that he deserves.

I intend to eat better. Hahaha! This intention will definately be the most challenging for me. I don't eat "bad," but it's the little things that make a big difference in my weight. You know, a handful of chips here and there, that one "little" candy bar, a taste of this, a taste of that ... it all adds up! My intention is to eat more healthful, to pen what I put into my mouth, and to make better choices.

I intend to workout with even more vigor and passion. I feel as if I have cheated myself this last year ... it's time to amp it back up and kick it into high gear!

I intend to take my workouts up to another level. This means, that there are several parts to this intention:

**I intend to do some type of physical exercise 4-6 days/week.

**I intend to run at least 6 organized running events this year. My intent is to run a few 10ks, but at least 4 Half-Marathons. (I will start another blog with my event dates for 2010.)

**I intend to become a member of the Half-Fanatics ...

**I intend to improve my running time by at least one minute/mile.

**I intend to drop my body fat below 23% by eating healthfully and mindfully, and by amping up my workouts. This IS very attainable. (I will start a fitness journey blog, complete with NASTY pictures to document the transformation.)

**I intend to pen my physical activities and daily food intake daily. I have my journal ready!

**I intend to return to Kickboxing and Krav Maga. This is, by far, the BEST workout I have ever had. I've missed it over the last year. I love the atmosphere, the energy, the sweat. I love the energy expenditure, the feeling of being totally spent and wanting to throw up, yet still having the feeling of being so STRONG!

**I intend to utilize my free gym membership to its fullest. I am so thankful to have free gym membership thru work!

**I intend to gain more muscle definition ... "to get cut," if you will.

**I intend to encourage my friends to jump on my fitness boat!


I intend to be an even better parent to my daughter. For those of you that know, it's not a secret that my daughter is by far my biggest challenge. She has her "challenges" and has a few "issues" that need working on. It is my intent to strive to offer and find her the best that life has to offer. It is difficult for me to list all the things that I intend for her here, but know that I will work hard to ensure that she receives everything that she deserves to have great experiences in school, at home, and everywhere else. It is also my intent to remember that this is HER life, not mine, and that it's NOT about me! I love my girl ... she is the sweetest child!

I intend to purge all that is no longer working in my life ... whatever it may be ... things, people, etc. ... if it's not working it's going. That may sound crass when I speak of people, but I choose to be around positive individuals. I choose not to have Energy Vampires to suck the life out of me. God knows that that is not who I desire to be around.

I intend to choose my words wisely. I am not much of a speaker, but when I speak, I will choose to speak in the positive light or not speak at all. This may be tricky as I may have to remind myself to think before I speak. I have been known to "think out loud" or to speak before I give it much thought. I joke that my "sensor" or my "filter" is broken at times so this may prove to be another challenge. Honestly though, I believe that what comes out of my mouth first is the truth, but it comes out rather harshly. It is not my intent to harm anyone with my words because I know that once spoken they are hard to take back. I know the harm that words can inflict - it's the worst pain. Keep your words sweet because you may have to eat them ... Yeah, I know, I know!

I know that my list of intentions appears short. There are many more out there that I have yet to list. For now, this is a good start. I can always edit and add later. I've always loved New Year's Resolutions ... It's almost as if the World was saying, "Here's your chance, a clean slate, a chance to start anew, fresh." I would keep my list to see how many I actually accomplished ... This year will not be different. Next year, I'll pull out my list and see just how many I was able to conquer! Who's with me? Get your list going ... =)

BENE GESSERIT LITANY AGAINST FEAR

LITANY AGAINST FEAR
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear - From Frank Herbert's Dune Book Series
© 1965 and 1984 Frank Herbert
Published by Putnam Pub Group
ISBN: 0399128964


The Litany Against Fear was an incantation spoken by by those who faced danger or fear during their everyday lives. It helped to focus their minds in times of peril.

I came across this incantation when I happened to be looking for motivation, inspiration and encouragement for my runs. Although it is not that I am afraid of my surroundings or the actual physical act of running when I am running, what I am afraid of are the thoughts that run through my head as I run ... thoughts such as, "I must look crazy," or "I'm running too slow." "Am I going to finish? How am I going to make it to the end?" Or how about this one, "I must be out of my mind to think that I could take this on!" And so forth and so on. It is my thought process that causes me to falter and slow down. I am my harshest critic, my own worst enemy. In reality, no one is really paying that much, if any attention to me.

Fear pushes what you want/desire away from you. What I found about the litany is that it calmed me. It allows me to refocus and reset my thinking. I believe that I am a strong individual spiritually, mentally, and physically. I believe that I have a mental toughness, a very strong will, and an unfaltering faith that many would envy, but there are times when I feel "weak," and once my negative thinking starts it's all downhill ... =[ It is at this time that I dig deep to find something to reset my brain/thinking. First I smile (even if it's a fake smile) then I start to tell myself positive things until I believe it. For I belive and know that I can do anything ... I just have to let go of the fear ...

Sometimes You Wonder

Sometimes you wonder ...

Who am I?

What am I doing here?

What's my purpose?

WTH?

WTF?

Why?

Why me?

Why not me?

How far?

What do I have to do?

What am I supposed to be doing?

I don't get it ...

You pray. You hope. You dream. You wish. You intend. You create. You try. You work. You work harder. You cry. You scream. You run. You stop. You take a minute to catch your breath. You breathe. You sigh. You keep on going, doing what you need to do, or what it is that you think that you need to be doing. But still ...

Sometimes you wonder ...

Is it enough?

What else do I need to do?

What else can I do?

What are the right words to say?

Who?

What?

Where?

When?

How?

Why?

When is enough, enough?

When do you know that the questions that you have, have been answered?

Is there really a God? If so, where is (s)he, and how do I know if it's truly (her)him? I desire concrete, tangible proof ... how would I even know?

What do I need to be doing at this exact moment in time?

Where am I?

Where do I need to be?

Am I where I am supposed to be?

Am I lying? Or am I being honest? How would you know? How would I know?

Is this the life I'm supposed to be living?

Am I really who I am supposed to be?

Am I really who I think I am? Or am I just a figment of my own imagination?

I know that these are questions that we ask ourselves (or that I ask myself) all the time ... but I want to know because sometimes I wonder ...

Getting Fitter

I am your average, everyday, extraordinary girl. I'm a happily married, mother of four who is passionate about fitness. I'm certain that I hit the ground running from the time I exited that birth canal and haven't stopped since!!! I am a Registered Nurse working in a busy Emergency Room and know the devastating effects of lack of proper diet and exercise.

So with all this great background, why bother to write a blog on fitness and weight loss? Am I not fit enough already?

My story is like that of many others ... I have ALWAYS been a fitness buff - runner, kickboxer, martial artist, gym rat. I have always been in good shape, however I have a fondness for food, particularly bread and pastries, that has led me to become what I consider "skinny fat." I'm one of those women who appear very fit and buff in my clothing, but in reality when those articles of clothing come off, I am "soft." It's the "softness" that I have difficulties with.

I get motivated, yet discouraged when I look at the women in magazines. I see their "perfection" and forget that they have been airbrushed and fluffed by others until they shine. It got me thinking about a conversation that I had with one of my old friends about women and magazines.

Does anyone know what the difference is when you look at women who are in magazines such as Vogue, or Madamoiselle, and women who are in magazines such as Playboy? Women who are in fashion magazines are women who are chosen by other women. Women who are in magazines such as Playboy or Sports Illustrated, are women who are chosen by men. Which magazine would you rather be in? The women who are in magazines chosen by other women, are women who are thinner, taller, and who are NOT realistic. The women who are in magazines who are chosen by men, are more apt to represent real women. Think about it - these women are curvier. Most men don't want skinny women - they don't want to be with a fatty either, but more like "real" women. You heard me right ... I'm talking about normal, average women with real bodies, and curves, and even softness.

I know that if you asked my husband, he would tell you that I am great the way that I am. He would tell you that my body is perfect to him.

It's my eyes that have the difficulties with what I see when I look in the mirror. To those who look at me, they see me as that fit, buff woman that I long to see. I can only see the soft. When people workout with me at the gym, they see me working hard - running, lifting, sweating, and encouraging my partner. They don't hear the voices in my head trying to convince me that I'm tired, that I can stop any time now, or that I'm hungry and need to go eat that pastry because I deserve it.

The bottom line is: I am getting in my own way. I am the only thing stopping me from achieving my fitness goals. My problem lies within my own mind. I hear a voice that tells me that I'm too fat, or too thick in the thighs, etc. I see a different version of myself than what everyone else sees when I look in the mirror. My mind can play some really nasty tricks on me, or tell me some really untrue things about myself. Why is it so hard for me to just love me as I am? What will happen when I finally get those thinner thighs or tighter butt? I'll find something else to try and "fix."

I am NOT striving to be thin, model like, or anorexic. I have absolutely NO desire to be anorexic or waif-like. I am striving to be a healthier, stronger, fitter, leaner version of myself. I desire to be strong and lean. I am already strong ... now to just lean out!

All of this IS possible all because I DO believe in myself. Let me push my negative self out of the way. As it is written, it is already done. Look out world, here comes the Real Row.!!!

Running For Dad ...

This is something that I sent out last year in preparation for a marathon that I ran in memory of my father, and to commemorate my turning 40. I wanted to remember what I wrote so I put it in this blog ... I miss my father very much, and think of him often ... especially on those long, long lonely runs where I just don't think that I'm going to make it ...

To My Dearest Family and Friends ...

This October 2008, Row.'s turning 40 (ooooohhhh!) and to celebrate I will be running my very first marathon ever! I have done several endurance events in the past, but none as significant or as important as this one.

At the urging of my husband, Chris, I signed up to run the San Francisco Nike Women's Marathon in early March. As it was a lottery, I signed up never imaging that I would be selected. No longer can I claim that I have never won the lottery. Being one of 20,000 lucky selected lottery winners of this marathon, I will be running on Sunday, October 19th in memory of my Beloved Father, Alex Qunitua, whom many of you know passed away this past Valentine's day from complications of leukemia.

My Dad was a man who enjoyed life, and loved his family and friends. He fought his disease with much determination and heart, and very little complaint. My father knew this disease inside and out, constantly researching and asking questions, reading literature, and seeking the advice of multiple physicians. My Father, being of strong Catholic faith, prayed also ... he prayed not only for himself, but for his family, for a miracle, and for a cure. My Father wanted so much to live, and he believed that he would overcome. And he did ... my Father lived for four years after his initial diagnosis. He was a man with a big heart and an equally big smile. He believed that much was possible and he lived his life to the fullest.

I know that many of you believe that 26.2 miles is a long way to run, but I can do this for my Dad. The fight that my Father fought with Leukemia was so much harder than my undertaking of running a marathon. I thoroughly and truly believe that my Dad will be with me as I cross that finish line, and that it will be a life-changing moment for myself. I only wish that my Father's finish line could have been a different one.

The Nike Women's Marathon is a race that benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) and raises funds to help find cures for leukemia, lymphoma, and myeloma. In honor of my Father, I am fundraising for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society (LLS). I know that these are tough financial times, but if you can help me in raising funds for this organization, please make your checks out to the "Leukemia Lymphoma Society" (Please write "MCH/RWallen" or "In Memory Of Alex Quintua" in your memo line). Whatever amount you can give is appreciated immensely. You can mail the checks to me or you can donate online at http://www.active.com/donate/mch2005/mchRWALLEN.

Many thanks to all of you for all of your support.

Row. ; )