Getting Fitter

I am your average, everyday, extraordinary girl. I'm a happily married, mother of four who is passionate about fitness. I'm certain that I hit the ground running from the time I exited that birth canal and haven't stopped since!!! I am a Registered Nurse working in a busy Emergency Room and know the devastating effects of lack of proper diet and exercise.

So with all this great background, why bother to write a blog on fitness and weight loss? Am I not fit enough already?

My story is like that of many others ... I have ALWAYS been a fitness buff - runner, kickboxer, martial artist, gym rat. I have always been in good shape, however I have a fondness for food, particularly bread and pastries, that has led me to become what I consider "skinny fat." I'm one of those women who appear very fit and buff in my clothing, but in reality when those articles of clothing come off, I am "soft." It's the "softness" that I have difficulties with.

I get motivated, yet discouraged when I look at the women in magazines. I see their "perfection" and forget that they have been airbrushed and fluffed by others until they shine. It got me thinking about a conversation that I had with one of my old friends about women and magazines.

Does anyone know what the difference is when you look at women who are in magazines such as Vogue, or Madamoiselle, and women who are in magazines such as Playboy? Women who are in fashion magazines are women who are chosen by other women. Women who are in magazines such as Playboy or Sports Illustrated, are women who are chosen by men. Which magazine would you rather be in? The women who are in magazines chosen by other women, are women who are thinner, taller, and who are NOT realistic. The women who are in magazines who are chosen by men, are more apt to represent real women. Think about it - these women are curvier. Most men don't want skinny women - they don't want to be with a fatty either, but more like "real" women. You heard me right ... I'm talking about normal, average women with real bodies, and curves, and even softness.

I know that if you asked my husband, he would tell you that I am great the way that I am. He would tell you that my body is perfect to him.

It's my eyes that have the difficulties with what I see when I look in the mirror. To those who look at me, they see me as that fit, buff woman that I long to see. I can only see the soft. When people workout with me at the gym, they see me working hard - running, lifting, sweating, and encouraging my partner. They don't hear the voices in my head trying to convince me that I'm tired, that I can stop any time now, or that I'm hungry and need to go eat that pastry because I deserve it.

The bottom line is: I am getting in my own way. I am the only thing stopping me from achieving my fitness goals. My problem lies within my own mind. I hear a voice that tells me that I'm too fat, or too thick in the thighs, etc. I see a different version of myself than what everyone else sees when I look in the mirror. My mind can play some really nasty tricks on me, or tell me some really untrue things about myself. Why is it so hard for me to just love me as I am? What will happen when I finally get those thinner thighs or tighter butt? I'll find something else to try and "fix."

I am NOT striving to be thin, model like, or anorexic. I have absolutely NO desire to be anorexic or waif-like. I am striving to be a healthier, stronger, fitter, leaner version of myself. I desire to be strong and lean. I am already strong ... now to just lean out!

All of this IS possible all because I DO believe in myself. Let me push my negative self out of the way. As it is written, it is already done. Look out world, here comes the Real Row.!!!